It was the Summer of 1997, my daughter had just turned 2. A few short months before my life had been turned on it’s head.
My body and heart were slowly mending from a relationship that had given me both one of life’s most cherished gifts, new life and lessons I would hold dear.
They apply to you and personally and professionally. Ones like..
Don’t confuse:
- love with a longing to be loved
- caring with control
- passionate conversations with verbal abuse
- or choice with convenience.
Don’t confuse:
- loyalty with bondage
- conviction with condemnation
- fear of the unknown with ‘this is my bed and I must lay in it’
- Honour with obligation
Throughout our young lives throw-away lines from our parents or influencers, stick to the subconscious and create neural pathways in our mind, if left unchallenged, that become our default view point – even to our own detriment – at home and at work.
Since becoming a Mum I’ve been consciously thinking about what I’m thinking about. It’s my responsibility. No excuses. My story. My choice.
I ended the relationship in August of 1997. In the Summer of that same year I began to learn a new kind of normal of soulParenting.
Faith was my constant companion as I learnt to trust God to take care of my toddler when she would go off in her Dad’s car.
Now it’s the Summer of 2016 and the toddler is 20 and living less than 30 mins away.
Her Dad is somewhere in Western Australia, living his life and doing well.
There were years of chaos and arguments, delight and merriment, revelations and reflections, careers and businesses, yearnings and new dreams birthed in the passage of time in between.
In the January Summer of 1998, the shifting sands, faith and a fresh set of friends nurtured my weary heart and soul.
I walked a lot. I cried myself to sleep some nights with my toddler in the other room, yearning for a better life for her. It seemed time stood still and Gods’ grace planted me in the company of beautiful friends. But even then I felt alone. Not exactly lonely. Separate. Attuned to the story being written of my life with every new decision and circumstance.
I began to share occasional ‘balcony days’ in Tallebudgera Creek with Dave, who I’d met in Church. We’d talk for hours and hours and crack ourselves up laughing about nothing at all. Breath cane back to my lungs and the blood began to flow again in my veins and hope birthed new vision.
Today is a breezy, clear beautiful Summer day like back then.
My daughter is now a young woman and charting her own course.
I married the balcony man, 16 years this May. We’re the Deane Team. We’ve done our best to champion our blended family of four daughters. We’ve made heaps of mistakes. We’ve done a lot of things right.
I’m taking a moment to thank God for the shifts that take place in our life and my decision to trust that He is smarter than me.
Then, I’ll head down to that same creek and listen to the cackling sounds of little people embracing life and splashing on the waters edge.
This story is still being written….
— ABOUT THE AUTHOR —
Tarran Deane is one of Australia’s most loved Conference Speakers sharing on the practical elements of high level leadership. Passionate about Communcation & Connection, Tarran Helps Leaders Design Change Mechanisms and Culture Pathways.
Tarran Deane AFAIM is CEO of Corporate Cinderella Leadership Development Company, an entrepreneur, business, management and bible college graduate, a mad keen Ducati enthusiast and ranked in Top 10% of social media influencers on Leadership.
To find out about having Tarran present at your event or for our executive coaching and consulting services, call +61 417 654305
