The Kindness Economy: From the Scoffer and Shamer to the Banker and Butcher
This is a story about personal connection that navigates change, builds brand loyalty, and indirectly offers a meaningful return on investment. The Kindness Economy could apply to any person, town, or workplace. Change happens one person at a time.
Are you someone who, with a simple quip, cuts others down? Or are you thoughtful with your words, a ‘cut above’ with your customer service?
Everything changed.
I was scheduled to give my PROSCI® presentation that evening and be assessed to receive my PROSCI® certification. It was 5 December 2019. Earlier that afternoon, I had missed a call from my mum while in class, and I took the opportunity to call her back on my way to my room before dinner and the evening’s assessment with the trainers.
Everything changed.
Her words came out matter-of-fact. She was almost curt. Didn’t want a fuss. Didn’t want any of us rushing down to country New South Wales, acting as if she were dying. She was processing. The call was short. Bad news was delivered swiftly. I stood in the centre of my hotel room, in shock. Mum was calling my siblings next. It would be a shock for them.
Everything changed.
Lesson 1. Everyone is going through something – the Kindness Economy
The Kindness Economy was evident as I quietly approached my course facilitators and shared briefly that I’d received some difficult news. They offered to defer my assessment so I could travel. I graciously declined, knowing Mum didn’t want a fuss and I was at least an 11-hour drive away. Numb yet present, I was awarded the PROSCI® certification and have loved using it since that day.
I left the venue on 6 December 2019 and drove to meet my sister in nearby Brisbane, an hour south-east of where I’d been. Driving through bushfires, ash, and smoke, my car ate up the miles. My sister and I held each other.
Everything changed.
Lesson 2. Hope is a strategy – the Kindness Economy
Facing surgery for life-threatening conditions, my mum was advised to wear a mask if she ‘had to go over town’, as we say in the country. It was December 2019, the height of the Australian summer and months before COVID restrictions hit us.
Everything changed.
Following two life-saving surgeries, my mum has rarely left the house over the past five years, except for medical appointments, errands, and a few family events.
Until recently, when a new doctor offered her hope. She’d need to be on medication for the rest of her life, but she didn’t want that to be front and centre of her mind anymore. She wanted to live. In the past month, she’s started setting more goals. Her aim: to make a solo trip ‘over town’, to browse the shops and perhaps buy a few articles of clothing, something her new doctor encouraged. She’d still need to take precautions, just as many people do when facing major changes in their health.
Everything changed.
The Kindness Economy was alive, and it is powerful.
Lesson 3. Be like the Banker with Words that Build – the Kindness Economy
Every Saturday since early COVID, Mum and we siblings have a FaceTime call. Mum had told us the week prior how excited she was about her solo outing.
On the appointed day, she parked her car, popped on her mask, and walked the short distance to the bank. She knew one of the two ladies behind the counter and waited patiently at the head of the queue for her turn.
Everything changed.
Don’t be that Person – The Scoffer and the Shamer
A man finishing his transaction at the teller glanced up, and Mum faintly recognised him as a retired business owner from one of the town’s retail shops. As he looked at her, he smirked and scoffed. Turning back to the teller, he made a comment, then shook his head at Mum, chuckling as he walked out.
Mum was shocked by his behaviour.
Be like the Banker with Words that Build – the Kindness Economy
As she stepped forward, the teller asked, ‘How are you?’ From beneath her mask, Mum replied, ‘I don’t appreciate being mocked by another customer. No one knows what I’m going through.’
All Mum’s hope for that day shrank. She felt mocked and ashamed, unseen and misunderstood.
The supervisor came over and asked what had happened. The banker replied, ‘Oh, (insert name), I am so sorry.’ They spoke for a short while. Tenderly, Mum’s local bank, who had sent her flowers years ago when she first received her diagnosis, invested once more in the Kindness Economy. They were still doing good.
Holding back tears, Mum left the bank and drove to the butcher, deciding to head home afterward. She felt blindsided, no longer safe or excited, foregoing her long-awaited goal and reward.
Lesson 4. Be like the Butcher, a Hug and a Cut Above – the Kindness Economy
Wearing her glasses and mask, my petite mum looked even smaller, and it must have shown. She ordered lamb cutlets from the butcher, who gently, warmly, and affably asked how her day was going.
‘Fine until my experience at the bank,’ she replied.
He clarified, ‘Who was it? A bank employee or another customer?’
‘No, a customer,’ Mum said.
The butcher wrapped up the meat, took Mum’s payment, then walked around to the front of the counter, opened his arms, and hugged her.
‘Don’t you let those turkeys get you down. You remember that.’
I’ve thought about calling the local radio station to shout the praises of these two individuals.
While Mum still hasn’t gone on an outing to buy her clothes, the scoffer and shamer’s words were overshadowed by the kindness of the banker and the butcher.
Everything changed.
A Reminder….
The Kindness Economy is good for business. This story reminds us that we have good people working in our businesses, organisations and communities. When we genuinely engage with our customers and colleagues, we ‘see’ people. It’s one of the many reasons why ‘change happens one person at a time’.
Everyone wears masks of some kind.
Everyone has the opportunity to be kind.
About the Author | Tarran Deane
Tarran Deane is a leading change management strategist and advisor, helping organisations navigate the complexities of transformation with thoughtful planning and execution, humour and enthusiasm. As a PROSCI-certified practitioner, she empowers leaders to create sustainable change that delivers measurable outcomes in the Public Sector, Finance, Tourism, Not for Profit Disability, Aged and Community Services. Through a limited number of engagements each year Tarran delivers Executive Coaching, Training Programs and Speaking Presentations in Brisbane, Gold Coast, Northern New South wales and Canberra. When she’s not working you’ll find her cornering through the hills of Southeast Queensland and Northern NSW on her Ducati 800 Monster Motorcycle, connecting with family and friends and watching the MotoGP season on Kayo! To work with Tarran and learn more, connect with her via TarranDeane.com or on LinkedIn @TarranDeane.
This article can also be viewed on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/kindness-economy-from-scoffer-shamer-banker-butcher-tarran-kdbic
